my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
His nipple licking is glorious
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