I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize