My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
