he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
