Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
