She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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