tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
