the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
