Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
