I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize