At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
