Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
