She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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