so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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