I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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