She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
