You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
