Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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