i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
