Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize