Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
