what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
