its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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