Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
