New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
