ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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