worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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