please come you make the beer taste better
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
