Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
