i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
