i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
