girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize