Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
