The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
