I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
