You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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