some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
