I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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