oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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