Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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