She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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