Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
