that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
