Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize