Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
