Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
