so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
