yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's the barista slut.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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