I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
