i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
