I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
