I think I died a long time ago.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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