woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
