imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize