dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
