so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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