Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
