420 ftw
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
