there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
