do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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