don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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