Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
