Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
