I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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