she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize