super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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