just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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